Here is my understanding of friendship. This is taken from three seperate posts that I have made on my friends bulletin board.
1) First Post
There are few people whom I call friend, and many more I call acquaintance.
I believe that I formally ask very little of my friends.
The only formal and primary request I have made is that I do not want to be lied to.
My secondary principles are informal and can only be learned through personal interaction.
Everything can mostly fall under this umbrella:
If any action committed by any friend, that will knowingly cause myself distress, then I would ask you to not follow through with that action.
Examples:
Don't fuck my girlfriend.
Don't abuse my friends.
Don't harm my cat.
Don't kiss my girlfriend.
Don't commit an action that will knowingly hurt one of my friends.
If I love someone, don't fuck them. (Significant other love)
Don't steal my property.
If I broke up with a girl, and I'm obviously still grieving, don't mess with her. Even if I'm suffering for over two years. Just say no.
Obviously these situations don't arise very often if at all, so they are not to difficult to abide by.
If I would consider you a friend, then the aforementioned examples would already be known. People who don't know how to treat me, I do not consider a friend. They may consider me as such, but I do not consider them.
Everyone has the right to act as they see fit, but if they choose to act in a way that will obviously disrupt my value system, I will not call them friend, or treat them like one.
2) Second Post
Two points.
Firstly,
If I crossed a line with anyone I would like to be informed of what I did. I try to stay firm and honor anyones feelings when it comes to my actions, so that I do not cause intentional pain. Most likely I would cause pain through accident, and I would like to rectify the situation so that I can maintain a healthy friendship.
Secondly,
If any of my above "rules" were broken in regards to my significant other or in approximate relation, just like Arthur I would KILL you. I do not mean metaphorically. Some people have it coming.
3) Third Post
*This post has been edited in order keep the integrity of the topic at hand. There were certain points that related to the discussion, but are not closely related enough to further my understanding of friendship.
**Indicates where there was omition.
I would like to elaborate on a few things.
When I laid down certain "rules" they are by no means static. They are just examples of what might upset me. These are not golden rules. I have acquired this impression by the way certain people have used my "rules" in accordance to the discussion of this topic. I may be percieving this poorly, but I wanted to interject nontheless.
If my cat was in a feral mood and attacked the hell out of you, then you should whoop his ass. He has it coming, and that would obviously break one of my "rules."
**
This definition only details how I want to be treated, but fails to include how I want my friends to be in full.
I completely agree with G and Mr Rogers.
"The greatest gift you can give anyone is the gift of your honest self.”
I want my friends to be themselves. It is inherent that since I am around anyone of you, I attain a certain enjoyment from you, be it from many different avenues.
This touches on a different subject.
I want everyone to just be themselves. If those values conflict with mine, in a major or traumatic way, then I do not believe that I can maintain a friendship. The only difference between my friends and everyone else is that I trust them. Due to the inherent nature of the human creature, humans are not to be trusted, but the people I am surrounded by have generally proven themselves through action and not words that they can be entrusted.
Also, I do believe that my values, are not that hard to co-exist with. They are not that easy to upset and I don't expect much out of anybody. I suppose I just ask for the same respect that I would give someone else.
Treat someone the way that THEY want to be treated.
That is the entire reason why I opened this thread. There are certain things that could potentially upset some friends, and I might not even be aware of it. Like the incident with Brandon and Rock Bottom. I want to protect what I value, and I value my friends above all else.
**
If a friend were to have the gall to directly ask me a question, then I believe that I should answer them directly. Truth is truth. If I am afraid of telling the truth, then my conscience is telling me that I probably shouldn't have committed that action. It's a good guideline on how to act.
1) First Post
There are few people whom I call friend, and many more I call acquaintance.
I believe that I formally ask very little of my friends.
The only formal and primary request I have made is that I do not want to be lied to.
My secondary principles are informal and can only be learned through personal interaction.
Everything can mostly fall under this umbrella:
If any action committed by any friend, that will knowingly cause myself distress, then I would ask you to not follow through with that action.
Examples:
Don't fuck my girlfriend.
Don't abuse my friends.
Don't harm my cat.
Don't kiss my girlfriend.
Don't commit an action that will knowingly hurt one of my friends.
If I love someone, don't fuck them. (Significant other love)
Don't steal my property.
If I broke up with a girl, and I'm obviously still grieving, don't mess with her. Even if I'm suffering for over two years. Just say no.
Obviously these situations don't arise very often if at all, so they are not to difficult to abide by.
If I would consider you a friend, then the aforementioned examples would already be known. People who don't know how to treat me, I do not consider a friend. They may consider me as such, but I do not consider them.
Everyone has the right to act as they see fit, but if they choose to act in a way that will obviously disrupt my value system, I will not call them friend, or treat them like one.
2) Second Post
Two points.
Firstly,
If I crossed a line with anyone I would like to be informed of what I did. I try to stay firm and honor anyones feelings when it comes to my actions, so that I do not cause intentional pain. Most likely I would cause pain through accident, and I would like to rectify the situation so that I can maintain a healthy friendship.
Secondly,
If any of my above "rules" were broken in regards to my significant other or in approximate relation, just like Arthur I would KILL you. I do not mean metaphorically. Some people have it coming.
3) Third Post
*This post has been edited in order keep the integrity of the topic at hand. There were certain points that related to the discussion, but are not closely related enough to further my understanding of friendship.
**Indicates where there was omition.
I would like to elaborate on a few things.
When I laid down certain "rules" they are by no means static. They are just examples of what might upset me. These are not golden rules. I have acquired this impression by the way certain people have used my "rules" in accordance to the discussion of this topic. I may be percieving this poorly, but I wanted to interject nontheless.
If my cat was in a feral mood and attacked the hell out of you, then you should whoop his ass. He has it coming, and that would obviously break one of my "rules."
**
This definition only details how I want to be treated, but fails to include how I want my friends to be in full.
I completely agree with G and Mr Rogers.
"The greatest gift you can give anyone is the gift of your honest self.”
I want my friends to be themselves. It is inherent that since I am around anyone of you, I attain a certain enjoyment from you, be it from many different avenues.
This touches on a different subject.
I want everyone to just be themselves. If those values conflict with mine, in a major or traumatic way, then I do not believe that I can maintain a friendship. The only difference between my friends and everyone else is that I trust them. Due to the inherent nature of the human creature, humans are not to be trusted, but the people I am surrounded by have generally proven themselves through action and not words that they can be entrusted.
Also, I do believe that my values, are not that hard to co-exist with. They are not that easy to upset and I don't expect much out of anybody. I suppose I just ask for the same respect that I would give someone else.
Treat someone the way that THEY want to be treated.
That is the entire reason why I opened this thread. There are certain things that could potentially upset some friends, and I might not even be aware of it. Like the incident with Brandon and Rock Bottom. I want to protect what I value, and I value my friends above all else.
**
If a friend were to have the gall to directly ask me a question, then I believe that I should answer them directly. Truth is truth. If I am afraid of telling the truth, then my conscience is telling me that I probably shouldn't have committed that action. It's a good guideline on how to act.
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