This time I can only hope that my doppleganger doesn't strike again.

When I lived at my apartment on Rural and Baseline I went to get the mail and I recieved a letter from Blockbuster. The letter stated that I owed them about $30 dollars in late fees and if I didn't pay them immediately they would send it to a collection agency. You might ask for what movies I had late fees for? Well the letter would answer your question: Bats and Double Jeopardy.

Bats is a horror film about mutated bats that go on a killing spree, and its up to one lone scientist to come and save the day. Now that is a premise!

Double Jeopardy involves Ashley Judd being framed for a murder but finds out that the victim is still alive, so she decides to go out and actually kill him since she is already being punished for it. Makes sense. Oh, the "victim" is Tommie Lee Jones and her husband. This movie will probably be immortalized for being the peak of both actors careers.

These are two movies that I have never seen, or do I ever plan to see, or would I ever spend any form of monetary currency on either of them. Even if they accepted pencil shavings or chicken nuggets.

I looked at the date of the rentals and it was Februrary 29th of 2000. I was completely alarmed by this because on that Leap Day I was at work. I used to work for Bank of America at their cash vault. In order to enter the building I have to be allowed in through a controlled gate which is operated by a guard in his watch tower, then once your through the gate, he opens the door to the building, where you then enter a man-trap, then he lets you through to enter the vault. Every minute of your entrance and exit is logged. And every step you take throughout the compound is recorded on camera. It's very high security.

I looked at the address of the Blockbuster that I rented it from and it read *** Guadalupe Rd. There is a Blockbuster on Guadalupe and Rural (only half a mile from my house), which I have rented from (once about a year earlier) so I went down there to clear things out. I walked in to talk to the manager and the first thing she says is that I have the wrong store.

I was at the wrong Blockbuster?!?

"Where and the hell is this other Blockbuster" I exclaimed.

"Go down to Guadalupe and McClintock."

So I went to find a store that I didn't even know existed but I apparently went there two find two worthless films. I find the place and walk in and talk to the manager. She looks at the account and said I made the rentals at 7:36 on Leap Day.

"Well that is impossible! I work at a very high security cash vault and I am recorded as being there. So I cannot be here and there. I have never been here. I didn't even know that you existed beyond five minutes ago. Besides these are two films I would never waste my time with."

"Well I will have to look at the security tapes and figure this out. Call me in a week to find out your status."

There was nothing more that I could do so I left to wait. I wasn' t really concerned because I knew I hadn't committed the "crime."

I called back a week later and she hadn't had time to look it up. A week later the same response. Well this was getting irritating, so I called Joey, who was a manager for Blockbuster. He called from his store and told them to remove the late fee becasue it was ridiculous that I had the charge because I would never rent such worthless films. They removed the late fee (Thank you Joey) and all of my Blockbuster riddles went away except for one.

Where is my Doppleganger and where did he disappear to?

Maybe he will strike again on this rare day. If he does I hope he has improved his picture show taste.

I traveled to a different hunting ground yesterday. William arranged a volleyball match with his colleagues and I joined up with them here.

<--

The games were full of much joviality and good temperement. Even though a few were not as blood thirsty as one would expect, all enjoyed being apart of the volley. I was not able to stay and finish my engagement because I had another matter to attend.

I heeded the call of Georg Steller and his Pacific Northwest journey. I needed to finish his account of the famous and now extinct sea cow, and the eventual self-dejection of his own life, even though he contributed more to his field of study in such a short amount of time than any other man. Ten years of work in order to have ten hours of play.

Early in the morning my written account of the journey and disection of their spirit was due. I would only get a few hours of sleep, but I finished my measly workload. Once I had given my thoughts to the magister I longed for my bed. I made my journey in a safe and timely manner, opposite to that of Mr. Steller.

I slept away Thursday.

Georg Steller - you thought your life a failure, but you are immortalized and beloved for what few men could have accomplished under such extreme and miserable conditions.

Its tough to wake up and find the reality that was isn't a reality at all. It was instead a picture that was painted from the deep recesses of your mind.

Waking realities can be so very hard to cope with. The reality is always a picturesque place that carries a moment of breath defying beauty. Only to realize it was a corporeal illusion.

On rare occasions have I had a waking reality. Each time I loathe my position, and love my former, but what remains is my dissolution. I long to find my moment - it is out there.

Next time I don't want to kiss my fantasy and find they are not there.

My family is something that I do not talk about often. I am not ashamed of them or anything that they have done, nor do I not talk about them because I want to guard them, but I just do not feel obliged to openly discuss them. I suppose I appear very guarded about my life, but when prompted I will tell anything anyone wishes to hear. I am like the treasure chest that is sitting in the room that no one will open because they don't have the key, but little do they realize that the chest is already unlocked.

They key to my openness is prompt.

I have an older brother and an older sister. My sister is twelve years older than myself and my brother is likewise ten. I have not had much of a relationship with my brother throughout the history of my life. There are only two periods in which I have actually lived with him. The first was up until I was eight, and I moved in with my Mother's new husband, and he moved elsewhere. And the next time he moved in with my mother and I when I was sixteen.

I remember only very little of my early childhood with him, but most of the memories are not very good. I remember cigarette butts being put into my coke bottle when I wasn't looking. Having me try chewing tobacco when I was six. Both times made me throw up profusely. I have hence to try tobacco again, so maybe that was a good thing.

I do know that I never hated or even remotely disliked my brother. The only distinct memories I have now are very bad ones, but I know that I loved being around him as a child. My memory now shouldn't cloud the fact that I do have a distinct impression of likeness for him. Contradictary as it may seem from my few memories. I remember how I loved to be around my sister and brother and their friends and how I generally didn't like children my own age. My mother remembers this being a problem when I was going through early development. I do remember day care and always going about my business alone because I found the children around me rather boring.

I was rather atypical child. When at daycare I preferred to be left alone so that I could go about my own business. I enjoyed reading in isolation, doing workbooks, and building things. I would take all of the items that the daycare had, and assemble large castles and the like. I remember the teachers always talking about me and my peculiar ways.

The daycare supervisors were never troubled by my anti-social behavior. They knew I wasn't anti-social because I was afraid, but because I had very little in common with the rest of the children. I wasn't angry or irritated with anyone. I just preferred own agenda, and the rest seemed rather childish to me. They knew I was different.

I was the kid who didn't like Sesame Street, and Mr. Rogers, and all PBS kid shows because I didn't like how they talked down to me. Even very early I was able to discern how the manner in which adults talk to children to me seemed condescending. I felt like they were treating me like I was unintelligent and couldn't understand what they were talking about. I still firmly believe that if you want your children to grow up, treat them like adults, not children.

The company I enjoyed was that of my siblings.

When I moved out I never saw my brother much. Contining theme.

Then when I was sixteen my mother informed me that my brother and his girlfriend, were going to stay with us for awhile. I hadn' t ever really known my brother so I was optimistic about living with him. He lived here for about four months and he moved back to Oregon. The time he spent here was and has been the only opportunity to get to know him.

I found out a lot about his history and some of his adventures. He has always been the kid who was in the wrong crowd, but not the kid who led the pack, but rather followed it. He did just about every drug imaginable and moved around collecting odd jobs to support his lifestyle.

Nothing has changed with him since then.

He has gotten into some trouble as of late, which I have no details. He is a vagabond for life, who when faced in the quiet solitude of his own thinking, will always make the best choice, but when surrounded by defective thinkers will make the wrong choice.

My brother and I share the same true blood, but we couldn't be the more opposite.

I hope that while he sits in isolation removed fromm all of his outside distractions he will stand back up on his own two feet, while all eyes are upon him, and take the first step towards redemption by his own volition.

I have rid myself of thy beast that Bellerophon once slew. All trace remnants have been disposed of and once I walk away I will never return to see the corpse. Even if the beast should revive she shall always be slain in my heart.

It does bring along despair to see the corpses line up when you never desired to witness their demise.