Brandon: "I want PMA's from everyone!"

Everyone: ???

Brandon: "Positive Mental Attitude"

Brian: "I fucking love that stupid idea!"

I have made a test about some of my personal history. There are no trick questions, just very specific ones.

Good Luck.

I begin the adventure into the unknown. Well, it is not completely unknown, but I have a general vague idea what I am getting into.

This next week I will find out if I can call myself seaworthy with the likes of Ishmail and Queequeg. I won't have to skim the outer layer of skin off a whale, or work in the gallows, but I will have a marginal idea at least.

My hope in this journery is that I will be allowed a large amount of time in which I can sit and reflect and digest what has been my life.

I have come to a crossroad, which actually has many different roads meeting via crossroad, but I don't know which path to take.

There are so many.

I am not afraid of making mistakes, I just have no intuition to decide which path to take.

Now I embark to find out what I need, what I want, and where I want to be.

Do I really think I will figure it out in a week?

Probably not, but seafaring abroad is a good way to start.

The worst Ninja Ever.

Many of you might of heard him in Clomping up the Stairs or Clogging down the Street.

I will forever be remembered by this Ninja's greatest performance many a night ago in the South of Phoenix. I was relaxing in a spa with Tenato, a Gurg,a Gypsy and a Poop Shute. We had just nestled into the warm water and then it all began.

Around the backside of the fence the Ninja creeped to find a good vantage point. Well he couldn't find one, so he called to those that he was pursuing. He used the standard Ninja tactic of asking your prey to show themselves when you can't find an easy and reasonable means of reaching them. We then said to go over the fence but use the tree as a guide.

I will say that we were very good prey to give our position away so soon. I think Poop Shute learned it at ninja camp.

"Be very quiet" was all we said.

"You don't want to invite any more predators." Again, we were being just splendid prey. We could have made a ruckus to invite more guests, but then our stalker would then just have to share is wealth.

We are very good prey, but we are not very good communists.

The Ninja then clambered on top of the fence, scratching and clawing every metal grate he could find in order to what seemed was to create the loudest noises possible. Apparently this Ninja was from the school of ninja thought that believed that if you cannot make a climb due to its difficulty, just make as much noise as possible and the noise will then swoosh you over.

Once he reached the top of the fence he grabbed the tree and for support.

From what I've heard, but this may only be old ninja tales that have been washed with time and do not resemble their origianl true stories. But anyhow. Ninja's are the most dexterous creatures and if they were to climb a fence and rest on a tree, while still being on top of that fence, they would only touch it enough so that they could find out what kind of grain the tree may be.

But what do I know? I'm not a ninja.

This Ninja pushed so much of his weight on the tree, I would have thought that he thought is was made of an entire mountain. This tree sadly didn't way an entire mountain, which might have proven more useful had it had, but it was made of merely one tree. One flimsy tree. With the swaying of the tree and the now rocking of the fence the Ninja had to abort his position if he didn't want to befall a tragic injury.

So he leapt.

He landed promptly with both feet at the same time and the noise he made you might of thought that two Rhinoceras were arguing of whose turn it was to cook dinner. The tree and fence screamed about their disturbance, and the birds that had ransacked their little space without anyones approval, fled on the grounds that they shouldn' have to ask for it.

So the Ninja landed on the other side. Which was good because it was the side that he wanted to be on. He then tried to stroll over to his desired area with his heavy feet, being neither quiet nor close mouthed.

We had obviously been alarmed by his presence and might have escaped, but that would not have been the honorable thing to do for such prey as ourselves. We waited for the Ninja so that he could come claim his target.

He walked up to the brim of the spa and stopped and looked at us and we waited for his initial action.

"Uh. Hey guys."

I still don't think this is a very ninja like way of introducing yourself.

But what do I know? I'm not a ninja.






Here the Ninja can be viewed in his natural habitat. He is trying to disguise himself and blend in with his environment.

This picture might be a misnomer. I took it because a tourist told me that he was in my field of vision. He's probably like that damn Where's Waldo. Right under your nose but you can never find him. Well I'm going to keep looking at this picture and hopefully he'll pop out behind that tree that is inappropriatly placed in the center.

If any of you find him, don't tell me, I want to discover him for myself!!!

When I think of a man and a woman getting into a fight and the man has to sleep on the couch, I understand that.

When a man and another man get into a fight and one of them has to sleep on the couch, that's just silly.