I am an extremely independant person. I believe in being able to stand aloft by ones own power, but this also stems from a flaw in most human creatures.

I do not like being given things because I need them. I would rather starve than be given food from a person who would use it against me. I steadfastly and stubbornly follow this rule.

Here is why.

I believe in the idea of charity, some people do need help, nature has its way of putting a person in that position, but the human creature has a way of using that charity against you. Few people I have met have not had this happen to them.

Person A gives person B said item because for the sake of B's livelihood, B really needed it. A said it was out of good faith and it was their honest pleasure to do so. Then years roll around and something happens and A then throws in B's face that if it wasn't for A, B wouldn't be where B is today. B now feels incompetent and inferior because B believed B was accepting honest charity. If B were to know that A would react like this, B would have found another means for support.

This happens all too often, and because of such, I very rarely ever accept help. I absolutely love to give help whenever I can under any circumstance if I am able, but my enmity towards recieving help is garnered because of the flaw I mentioned previously.

I would lovingly accept charity from the Government. It is not nameless, but it is faceless. The government isn't going to yell at me twenty years later that if it wasn't for the big G, I wouldn't be anywhere. The government doesn't chastise me for not appreciating the free education I recieved through my youth. It may have been subpar, but it was free. If I am late in making a loan payment, it just leaves a mark that it was late, but doesn't call me yelling that I don't care about it, and if I really did care I would always have my payments on time.

But it hurts the worst when the person who claims to be giving you help because it is their duty and privledged honor to do everything they can for you, and even though you accept as little help as possible, and then slowly over time you become convinced that they are telling the truth. You allow them to help you, and then it doesn't take long for them to start resenting you for the help they have been giving and you havn't shown the proper respect and love for what they have been doing. Even though you made an honest effort to do so, and its not enough, because it doesn't matter, the resentment from their charitable contributions will always linger because you may not be in your current position had you not recieved it. You know it, but especially do they, and they will not let you forget.

Lansing’s account of the Ernest Shackleton voyage Endurance when first read, appears to be a Hollywood big budget drama, rather than a true story that was survived by twenty-eight real men. There have been many accounts of survival, but none can compare to the extreme conditions where every moment was fraught with danger and how every crew member of the Endurance was pitted against insurmountable odds as to their own demise. The course of their struggle carries with it the old cliche themes of, man vs. nature, man vs. man, and man vs. himself, but through their journey they offer a new perspective that breathes new life into these old tired themes.

Lansing’s prose is often vivid and quite lucid. His language and grammar are quite consistent, but instead of always trying to rely on his own prose, he uses much language from the men who actually survived to tell their tale. What Lansing does do that makes him shine throughout is his touch of perspective. To understand the importance of any event, the audience must have a sense of perspective to apply the proper relevance. Here are a few examples. When Lansing was describing the Endurance and her construction, he noted how they put an outer layer of greenheart wood to protect her. Unless one is very knowledgeable about various strong woods, one would not know exactly how strong greenheart really is. Greenheart is heavier and stronger than steel. By adding this simple comparison he grants a greater level of strength and toughness to the Endurance. Which makes it more poignant when the floes of the south crush her to splinters. In my opinion, not many people would think that a wood would be stronger than steel and by explaining so he shows the true awesomeness of mother nature. Also, when Shackleton, Worsley and Crean hiked over the South Georgia Island in order to find a whaling station they accomplished it with much toil and struggle. Lansing added that there has only been one group of men how accomplished the same hike, and this team was a group of professionals who did it with top notch technology, all the time they needed, and oh yeah, they did it FIFTY years later. These are but a mere two examples that Lansing provides the audience with a breathtaking perspective to understand exactly how unique their struggle was.

In many of the exploration accounts that I have read, one of the primary forces of destruction is man against his fellow man. Often times the struggle against mother nature could not bond fellow men together and they would still fight against each other where forging a strong united unit would be far more beneficial for both parties. Considering the nature of man, Shackleton’s crew were almost void of this typical type of self-destruction. The men were always willing to do what they were told, not only in person, but their spirit was always one of self-determination. When the Endurance became caught in the various floes, and at different times there was an opportunity of escape, but only through much labor could they break her free. They worked continually and eventually when their work was made useless, and the Endurance was crushed, they had to salvage what they could of their supplies, which in turn required much labor. Shackleton would order them to do what he saw fit, and the men did never with complaint, they obliged and did their bidding to the fullest of their abilities. They never resented their commander, or ever questioned his leadership. What this shows us is the character that Shackleton was, not only through his leadership skills but for his vision. Shackleton himself had to pick his crew. He sized up the men and decided if they were fit to continue the journey. Being a seasoned veteran of the sea, he knew something about what it took to make it through such a journey, but no man could have the foresight to predict how every man would fare, not only physically, but emotionally through such an arduous expedition. When the men were faced with a situation that would cause obvious stress and tension, the men were always resolute and steadfast to their commander. Shackleton knew how to pick his men, and his men knew how to follow their leader.

When a man is faced with a rigorous obstacle that stretches itself over a vast period of time, man can be his own worst enemy. Given to fatigue and mental lapse many rigors where he normally would hold strong, could be his own undoing. No man is exempt from this reality, some are stronger than others, but every man has his breaking point. The Shackleton voyage exemplifies this primary negative force. When the men began their journey, they were all strong in body and spirit. They were full of energy and hope. When the Endurance started encounter the obstacles of ice and floe, they trudged forward with might and courage. The Endurance became shackled and crushed by their foe, but the men stayed tough and adapted to their new vessel, a massive floe. This new vessel carried with it much uncertainty and it eventually turned against its passengers and the men. When they realized they had to go to land, they took to the long boats and rowed their way to Elephant Island. Then Shackleton departed to South Georgia Island for help. This entire journey they faced immediate death at every single turn. Lansing does a superb job displaying the ever mounting fear in the men, and the loss of hope. Overall the men slowly, very slowly, started to lose their grip on their survival. However, where most men would have complained at their situation and made it for the worse, the men struggled to hold perspective. It was cold, very very cold. The men didn’t always complain about it. It was a fact. It would have done just as good to complain about gravity. Even when one man fell in the water and would likely freeze to death, he didn’t complain about the cold, he complained about losing his tobacco. But as I said every man has his breaking point. Once on Elephant Isle the men kept one eye out for their rescue, but as time progressed it became more of a habit and a ritual, than one of hope. They began to slowly lose their spirit and it became their reality that they would die on this lonely miserable rock. The man that took the most toll, was Shackleton himself. By his nature he was probably the sturdiest and strongest in will and spirit that any man among the crew had ever encountered. Even Shackleton has his breaking point. When he took to the Caird he was faced with certain doom, and through their course to S. Georgia he slowly began to hold his strength. He had an outburst at an “annoying” bird, and his strength in his eyes began to darken and was filling with hopelessness. The once confident man became subject to his own criticism and self-doubt. Shackleton personifies the truism that every one has a limitation.

The most obvious and immediate threat at all times was Mother Nature herself. She was diligent and unrelenting in her pursuit of Shackleton and his company. She provides the nourishment of survival and also provides the pitfalls of tragedy. Without the threat of mother nature during this expedition, man vs man, and man vs himself, would not have come about. She supercedes all other forces because she is all other forces. A man can never be removed from nature, because he is apart of nature. Every being has to fight with her to maintain their existence, but the Endurance faced problems that few men in the existence of the entire human race have been forced to live through. It is hard to sit and imagine the harsh cold and cruel realities of a bitter and frozen world sitting in a comfortable temperature controlled home, but Lansing brings this almost barren wasteland into existence with such validity that the reader is pulled into this hellish concrete world of this maelstrom environment known as the Antarctic. Few men have ever experienced such extreme weather, but he demonstrates so effectively what the men had to suffer through, that even though the reader would have no prior Antarctic experience, the reader would gain a solid perspective on the actual struggle the men of the Endurance stayed afloat from.

After reading the account of the Endurance, I sit in awe, wonder and amazement that every man survived this misfortune. Few men could ever appreciate from actual experience the pain and misery that these men survived from. What was in hope to be fame and fortune became a lesson in survival. They acquired their fame, but at the cost they surely would not have agreed to. Be careful, for ye shall get what ye ask for.

For any would be Antarctic adventurer they should read this account and realize the danger and pain they might go through. This journey was real, it is not fiction like Robinson Crusoe. Lansing’s chronicled and thoroughly detailed narration of the voyage of the Endurance gives great weight to all the dangers that the Antarctic poses. From all the instant storms, the giant icebergs, never-ending night, killer whales, and the ever present freezing cold, rarely is there a safe haven. The Antarctic is not a picturesque place of serenity that one would imagine after viewing a mid western snow storm as it carefully blankets the land with its whiteness. The Antarctic is a harsh and cruel reality that demonstrates the awe-inspiring power that is Nature.

This book is a crucial study of human nature and what a man can accomplish and what he can survive from. The unique figure that stands above the rest is Shackleton, and he proves that no matter how tough and strong willed a person is, he is subject to his own nature, and no amount of inner courage can overcome the force the ever present laws of nature. The naming of the ship would carry with it a foreshadowing that no man or crew could expect because little would they know that they would need the greatest endurance they knew imaginable.

I have been hesitant to post ever since I have returned from my cruise. During the entirety of my vacation, I kept a very diligent journal. My original intention was to post my journal entries online, in its original form, scanned from my journal.

Through much toil I have not been able to reproduce their contents in a manner that I find fitting. I have scrapped the idea and if anyone should choose to read them, I have them kept bound and they are waiting for your bidding.