Even when you try something grandoise, you learn that those Hollywood moments are generally just that, fiction. In every one of those breathtaking moments that changes the course of a relationship, they all have one thing in common. Each character that changes, they change because they want to. The grandoise event catalyzes something that was already waiting to happen, it just needed the push.

My grandoise romantic display is remembered as something that was amazing in it's own right, but honestly appears to have altered very little. There wasn't much of a catalyst waiting to be catalyzed.

I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me.

In looking at some earlier posts, I now realize that I reacted in a way to show that for what had transpired, the relationhship I was in would be easy to get over. I did this as a reactionary measure to protect my person. My rationalized shield was strong and almost ultimately convincing. But it was only just a rationalization, a false wall, a way to protect a broken spirit which would eventually fall down as all fake things tend to do. I deceived myself into thinking that I had lost nothing, when in reality I had lost everything.